A few weeks ago, we talked about How to Know When to Quit, and Seth Godin’s handy little guidebook The Dip.

There’s one more recommendation Seth makes in The Dip to help us know whether to move forward with a project, or quit and move on.

He asks, “Can you become the best?”

If you’re not planning on becoming the best at what you’re engaged in, why continue? Because the point of your entrepreneurial endeavor, Seth reasons, is to get noticed, to get remarked about, or to be purchased, read, consumed, and enjoyed.

And, in today’s fractured marketplace, the only way to achieve any of those things is to become the best in your niche.

Writes Seth:

If you’re doing your best, only your soccer coach cares. If you’re the best in the world, the market cares. The secret, if you have limited resources (don’t we all) is to make ‘world’ small enough that you can actually accomplish that.

Are You Pursuing Your Best?

If you read The Dip you may come to see as I did that this isn’t a book about quitting, or even a book about The Dip, at all. This little tome is really about working through the Dip and achieving mastery, which happens to be the title of one of my favorite books.

In George Leonard’s Mastery, he describes performance at four levels of participation: The Dabbler, The Obsessive, The Hacker, and The Master.

Here’s a quick summary of the four levels.

The Dabbler

The Dabbler’s learning curve rises very quickly, meets an obstacle and then drops to zero, since the dabbler gives up the activity and goes on to another; repeating the same learning curve over and over again.

The Obsessive

The Obsessive’s learning curve rises quickly, learns all he can about the subject at hand. Then he meets obstacles, which The Obsessive tackles by redoubling his effort, devouring even more books and tools, and then burns out when he finds that the curve is not a straight line upwards.

The Hacker

The Hacker’s learning curve rises quickly, and upon meeting an obstacle or two, plateaus out on a straight line. The Hacker doesn’t consider the need for more instruction or rising above that level. He is content with level reached and plans to stay at that level.

The Master

The Master’s learning curve rises quickly, plateaus for a while, and with consistent practice, rises again with some regression and plateaus again for a while and so on. The Master knows that Mastery is a lifetime path. The Master enjoys living on the plateau. The Master knows that while he is on the plateau, learning is happening and practice will inevitably raise him to a higher level.

I think you would enjoy reading the book to discover the finer points of each level. Mr. Leonard describes Mastery as a lifetime of dips, with most of our time spent on “the plateau.”

Learning any new skill involves relatively brief spurts of progress, each of which is followed by a slight decline to a plateau somewhat higher in most cases than that which preceded it.

Writes Mr. Leonard:

In the actual learning experience . . . the upward spurts vary; the plateaus have their own dips and rises along the way. To take the master’s journey, you have to … attain new levels of competence. You also have to be willing to spend most of your time on the plateau, to keep practicing even when you seem to be getting nowhere.

Leonard’s plateau sounds a lot like Godin’s dip.

Are You a Hobbyist or a Professional?

Like clock-work, American Idol canvassed the country this past summer, searching for their next cast of twelve superstar-hopefuls. Shows like this attract thousands of part-time singers – kids who would pursue singing as a career only if it were easy and fit in with their daily shopping schedule at the mall.

One of the reasons shows like American Idol fascinate me is because the process these kids go through is a lot like beginning any entrepreneurial venture. I like to watch the behind-the-scenes “bootcamp” weeks where the kids are put through their paces to see what they’re made of. Those kids who make it through the American Idol bootcamp are the budding professionals.

And that leads us to another helpful way to frame our time on the plateau or in the dip while seeking mastery: the difference between hobbyists and professionals, a topic Steven Pressfield tackles expertly in his book The War of Art. Pressfield begins by defining what he calls Resistance:

(Resistance is) the enemy – our chattering brain, which, if we give it so much as a nanosecond, will start producing excuses, alibis, transparent self-justifications, and a million reasons why we can’t/shouldn’t/won’t do what we know we need to do.

Here’s just a snippet from Pressfield about the Professional:

Aspiring artists defeated by Resistance share one trait. They all think like amateurs. They have not yet turned pro.

The amateur plays for fun. The professional plays for keeps.

The amateur plays part-time, the professional full time.

The word amateur comes from the Latin root meaning ‘to love.’ The conventional interpretation is that the amateur pursues his calling out of love, while the pro does it for money. Not the way I see it. In my view, the amateur does not love the game enough. If he did, he would not pursue it as a sideline, distinct from his “real” vocation.

The professional loves it so much he dedicates his life to it. He commits full time.

That’s what I mean when I say turning pro.

Resistance hates it when we turn pro.

Read that whole section in The War of Art. I sometimes find myself re-reading sections from that book a few times each month, just to keep me focused.

A final reference point for all of us pursuing mastery: Steven Pressfield’s latest book, Do The Work.

In one tasty section, Steven refers to two of George Leonard’s themes, mastery and dabbling, and offers a little assessment to test how badly you want the success that will come from working through the plateau.

He calls his first test “How bad do you want it?”

‘How bad do you want it?’ is Resistance’s first question. The scale below will help you answer. Mark the selection that corresponds to how you feel about your book/movie/ballet/new business/whatever.

Dabbling • Interested • Intrigued but Uncertain • Passionate • Totally Committed

Pressfield goes on to recommend that if your response to the above question is not “Totally Committed,” then “put this book down and throw it away.”

Strong words.

What do you think?

With everything else on your plate, do you think you can succeed as an entrepreneur if you look at it as a part-time hobby?

Is Pressfield’s assessment right, or is there room for some middle ground?

While pursuing your entrepreneurial dreams, can you be part-time and still fully committed?

How often do you talk about yourself when writing for your site?

I ask because we’re getting mixed messages out there.

First you’re told; “Don’t talk about yourself, focus primarily on the needs of your readers and what’s on their minds.”

Then you hear; “You need to tell your story, share more about yourself and your life so you can build rapport with your readers.”

So which is it?

Building an online business is all about finding a hungry crowd and serving up what they’re searching for. And it’s also about reaching out and making personal connections and building relationships. That requires a liberal dose of you, or in this case, me.

So how do the socially awkward connect online? How much do we have to talk about ourselves, really?

And what about the socially adept among us? Can these folks talk about themselves too much?

Are there any rules for this sort of thing?

The Rules for Talking About Yourself Online

Most of us doing business online have two main tasks: write short, regular blasts for the social media like Twitter and Facebook; and write blog posts and articles for our sites and others.

Let’s look at the requirements for communicating successfully in both forums.

Social Media – Talking ‘As’ Yourself

I think of your site as home base, the place you bring friends for intimate chats around the fireplace. If your site is the front room of your home, then social media is the back yard, where you entertain friends.

You may be your product, or your topic may reflect your interests and passions.

But when posting on the social media, what you write about is not about you.

Instead, you focus on your reader’s needs.

Social Media “Scientist” Dan Zarella believes so strongly in this philosophy, he sells a t-shirt that reads: “Stop talking about yourself.”

Dan sums it up beautifully in a blog post:

Imagine yourself at a networking event or cocktail party. You’re talking to a handful of people, and one guy is only talking about himself. Is he your favorite person to converse with? On the other hand there’s another guy who’s talking about you, your needs and your experiences. Which would you rather talk to?

Social media is a cocktail party, nobody wants to listen to you talk about yourself all day.

So stop talking about yourself, it’s boring and nobody wants to hear it. But start talking as yourself and show us how the world looks through your eyes.

Dan is writing about social marketing sites like Facebook. He suggests you talk not “about” yourself, but talk “as” yourself. What about your own website, where you are tasked to develop a personal relationship while serving your readers?

Are the “rules” different for your own web site?

Blog Writing – Talking ‘About’ Yourself

This is where it can get tricky.

“Talk about yourself,” the experts tell you. “You have to forge a relationship with your readers, tell stories, relate common, universal truths by relating your own life stories.”

Yet in official marketing school it was pounded into me that you always focus on the primary needs of your audience: “you” disappear.

How do you connect and personalize your writing while also engaging your readers?

To help keep me focused in my writing, I made up a rule for this, See what you think:

If your story intersects with your reader’s most pressing needs, then tell it.
If your knowledge intersects with their needs, then share it.

When I talk about myself in some of my posts, my stories most likely rarely intersect with your most pressing needs – and yet I share those stories in an effort to become more “three dimensional” to those of you who don’t know me.

I guess that would be a third rule.

And when you’re writing in a more personal medium, that’s one of the keys. You’ve got to connect, as long as you surround those personal stories with information the reader wants and needs to know.

Now, in other formats, obviously, some of the more personal stories might not be as appropriate. Like say on a Fortune 500 blog for lawyers or something.

The You to Me Ratio

Perry Marshall has a great formula he calls the “You to Me ratio.” He writes:

In copy, you should always talk about your reader (“You” – “Your”) more than you talk about yourself (“I” – “me” – “my” – “we” ). 1.5:1 is good. More is even better.

It’s much easier to listen to somebody who’s talking about YOU than somebody who constantly talks about themselves. It’s more fun and it’s less work.

Over to You . . .

Do you find it easy – or difficult – to talk about yourself in your writing?

Does this come naturally to you, or has it been a struggle?

How Building A Web Business is a Lot Like Dating

Karla had a nice site getting very little traffic or attention.

She had posted regularly and done a lot of things right.

And then one day, one of the posts she submitted as a guest post landed on a huge site. Her post was so good, within a week she was being shared by hundreds of people on Facebook and Twitter.

In the biz, we call this “going viral,” and Karla was thrilled.

And for several weeks, her site was flooded with thousands of potential new readers and subscribers.

But Karla’s site just wasn’t ready.

And because Karla’s site wasn’t ready, most of those potential new friends disappeared as quickly as they arrived, very much like a huge wave hitting the beach and retreating within moments – leaving very little in its wake.

A Different Kind of Attraction

Thinking about Karla’s plight reminded me of Jennifer, a woman I’d coached in the mid 90’s on how to put up a website.

Jennifer wanted to sell a program teaching people how to “be ready for the love of their lives.”

I don’t recall all the details of her program, but it involved stuff like candles and fresh sheets — and I blush a little just writing about it.

In her materials she created scenarios like this:

Let’s say you run to the supermarket one morning wearing dirty sweats with greasy, unkempt hair and you unexpectedly run into the man/woman of your dreams in the frozen food section.

In that moment, won’t you wish you had made a bit of an effort to look presentable?

She had a point. It didn’t stop me from wearing sweats to the grocery store, which may explain a lot about my lack of a social life at the time, but I digress.

Her point was obvious: If your goal is meeting your future mate, be ready. Be in the right frame of mind. Make space in your life for that other person.

Turns out Jennifer’s advice is also appropriate when it comes to building an online business.

It seems attracting readers to your site is a lot like dating.

Here’s what you can do to make sure you and your site are ready for your future web suitors.

1. Get Back in the Game

Let’s face it, most people are as wary about giving their contact information to an unfamiliar site as they are about going on a blind date.

Who wouldn’t much rather meet someone new in a safe group setting than on a blind date?

Use social media, blog commenting, guest posting, audio interviews, Facebook, Twitter, and video to ‘be seen’ and to network. When others see people they know talking with you or talking about you, you’ll have a much better chance of encouraging them to come visit your site or blog.

The web is increasingly becoming a “recommendation web,” where the sites and products that thrive online will be those recommended by others.

People like to do what others are doing. It’s human nature.

2. Leave Something to the Imagination

Don’t get in the way of the story another person has told themselves about what they are looking for or who they need you to be.  You may be perfectly respectable despite your hobby of hoarding paperclips under your bed – but the truth is that most people have preconceived notions about these kinds of things.

You should still be you. Your site should be really clear about what it is and what problem it solves. But to be attractive to your audience, you need to be sure that you are presenting your solution in a way that they can readily recognize and see as a good fit for them.

There’s just no need to get into your special hobbies on the first date.

3. Be Interesting

People don’t want to give you their contact information – or even stick around – unless they see a site that looks “sticky,” that appears to have lots of deep content. A few stick around and read a few posts, but most take one look, see there’s stuff they want to see in the future that may be helpful, and subscribe, knowing that your emails will “remind them” to return to your site.

• Create easy-to-find and quickly understood visual “blocks” of categories and navigation.
• List your top posts and articles (pillar content) in these categories.

4. Get The Digits

How many websites have you bookmarked intending to go back when you had more time – only to completely forget about them?

What good is a great first impression if there is never a second?  At some point you are going to have to ask for a “name and number,” or in this case, an email address.

• Is your subscription box easily found on every page of your site?
• Do you include an option to subscribe at the bottom of each post?

5. Know How to Carry a Conversation

Once you do get a date – when someone visits your site and gives you their contact information, or signs up for your blog updates, be ready to carry the conversation.  Online, this means blogging and emailing to the group at large, and then engaging individual commenters on your blog.

If someone arrives at your site and sees lots of activity, they know something good’s going on.

So, how’s your online “dating” life? If you have any tips or strategies for being more attractive online, share them in the comments.

If you’re like most entrepreneurs, you have a lot on your plate.

Maybe you have a full-time job, and you’re building your online business on the side – and it seems to be growing too slowly – or is completely stalled.

Maybe you’re looking forward to quitting your job and becoming a full-time entrepreneur.

Or you’ve been an entrepreneur for a while, with some successes under your belt, but the latest project you’ve been working on just hasn’t drawn the attention you had hoped for.

There comes a time when we all ask the question: Should I throw in the towel, call it a day – is it time to quit?

Maybe it’s Not When, But What to Quit?

Some of us tend to spread ourselves too thin. We give each part of our lives some attention, but no part gets our best effort.

It’s tiring, unproductive, and discouraging.

Sometimes, the urge to quit is a signal from our brain to let go of something that is no longer working for us.

When we feel that urge, rather than survey our lives for those things that are no longer serving us, we often look to the hardest, scariest, or most challenging thing on our plate, and that’s what gets the axe.

It’s easier to quit the hard and scary things, and hold on to the easy and comfortable things. I’m here to suggest that’s not always the best solution.

When you get a quiet moment, take a look at your different projects and opportunities, and ask: “Is there anything I’m doing now I should reconsider? What should I quit?”

I’ve gathered a few resources to help you make those important decisions.

Quitting Has a Bad Rap

First, let’s get this out of the way: Is it OK for you to quit?

Do you have one of those scripts running in the background that tells you it’s wrong to quit anything, ever?

No one wants to be a quitter. So, we tough it out. We hold on, we endure.

It seems to be part of our cultural wiring.

“Winners do quit all the time,” writes Seth Godin in his book The Dip. “They just quit the right stuff at the right time.” He goes on to write, “people should quit the tasks that aren’t worth the effort for a long term success.”

So maybe that’s the next question we need to ask: “Is this project worth the effort for a long term success?”

Can you know this in advance?

I think so. Here’s how.

Into The Dip

Have you ever watched one of those performance shows like American Idol? There’s a new one now called X Factor.

One thing both shows have in common is the “bootcamp,” a few weeks where the producers put all the young hopefuls through their paces. They throw all sorts of new challenges at them and watch as the performers grow or melt under the relentless show-biz pressure-cooker. Yes, this bootcamp is enhanced pressure, to be sure: it’s intended to be a condensed version of the first few years of a young performer’s life.

During the bootcamp, we watch the genuine performers resolutely emerge from among the tears and stomping fits of those less suited for the hard effort of learning the ropes.

A lot of them don’t make it through bootcamp. This show business thing was a lot harder than they ever imagined.

And this is the kind of phenomenon Seth Godin was writing about a few years back when he published his great little book The Dip. Seth theorizes that any learning process – or business – starts out smoothly. At first it’s new, it’s fun.

Inevitably, we enter the dip: our very own “bootcamp,” where we come face-to-face with the unknown, and either embrace the challenge and expand our knowledge and skills, or shrink from the challenge. In the dip, our learning curve is steep. As we apply our new knowledge, we may stumble. We may fail.

In fact, in The Dip we’ll probably fail, more than once.

And this just isn’t very much fun.

What’s more, when you’re in the dip, your mood often follows the same curve, which makes it doubly hard to stay motivated and on task. Here, there’s a lot to learn, there’s often even more pressure to perform.

You begin to wonder if all this effort is worth it.

It’s enough to make you want to quit.

The deeper this dip, Seth writes, the fewer people who make it to the other side.

And that’s one of the reasons making it through the Dip is so valuable.

No Path is Straight

The Dip is one of three “curves” Seth identifies along the path to success. The other two are the cliff and the cul-de-sac – both of which can be deadly.

The cliff is something you can’t quit, but you end up falling off when everything eventually falls apart. Seth’s example is a smoker. When someone starts smoking, they think they can quit at anytime, but then they become addicted and reach a point where they can’t quit and end up “falling off the cliff.”

Come to think of it, I think I once had a relationship like this . . .

If you’re on the cliff, hopefully you know it. A little harder to pinpoint is the next curve, the cul-de-sac.

The cul-de-sac is French for “dead end,” and it will take you nowhere. You work and work, nothing happens and nothing changes, everything either remains static, or grows worse. Seth recommends getting out of the cul-de-sac as soon as possible. Why? “The opportunity cost of investing your life in something that’s not going to get better is just too high,” he writes.

When you’re in the cul-de-sac you know it, because it’s deadening. You can feel your dreams and goals slipping away.

Many new entrepreneurs will tell me their job is definitely a cul-de-sac. And I’ll ask them, “Are you learning anything that will help you in the future?”

It’s easy to identify the soul-killing aspects of the typical job while you dream about the amazing life you imagine entrepreneurship will bring you.

But what value are you giving and pulling from that job? Most of us need some form of stable income while building our business.

Not only that, but looking back, skills I picked up and practiced at the jobs I held form critical pieces of what I teach others today. I can’t imagine having learned those skills any other way.

Before you quit a project – or your job – try measuring the decision against the knowledge you gain from it:

• If you’re learning something worthwhile, but you haven’t seen much success, then it might not be the right time to quit. You can’t always evaluate the value that knowledge will have in the future.
• If you’re learning nothing and not succeeding, then you’re in the cul-de-sac, and it’s time to move on.

Both the cliff and the cul-de-sac lead to failure. If you’re on one of these curves, you need to quit. Writes Seth, “What’s the point of sticking it out if you’re not going to get the benefits of being the best in the world?”

Seth points out that coping is not a good substitute for quitting, nor is it heroic or noble. Coping is what you do when you muddle through something. Coping leads to mediocre performance, and depletes energy that could be applied towards more productive pursuits.

At any one time, you may have several paths you’re pursuing, each with its own curves. Look over the paths in your life right now.

• How many of those paths end in cul-de-sacs?
• Are any of them cliffs?
• Is any path you’re on in the Dip?

Godin defines The Dip as “any rough patch you have to get through before achieving your big goal . . . if in fact you’re chasing the right goal.”

Are You Chasing the Right Goal?

Let’s frame this question another way: “Does your job, your project, or your business help you reach your long term objectives?”

When I first started coaching, one of my favorite goal-setting examples was one I called “the arrow with a mind of its own.”

See what you think.

First, create your goals and paint them vividly, placing them out there in front of you.

Imagine those goals as a target placed years into your future, and your daily actions are arrows aimed and shot towards this target.

A funny thing happens with those arrows: you can aim carefully and shoot with precision, but sometimes the wind catches them, and carries them off in completely unexpected directions.

Others are a misfire, and fall a few feet away from you.

The point is all we can do is paint that vivid future and then get to work setting into action the steps we believe will take us in that direction.

It’s OK if our tactics aren’t always the right tactics, it’s fine if the wind changes direction, and the target can change completely – in fact, it often does.

What’s important is that in any given moment you’ve clearly defined your goals, given them dimension, and are intently aware of them daily, and take at least one step daily toward your goals.

Seth suggests one of the best ways to make it through the Dip is to visualize your “light at the end of the tunnel.”

Visualize this in any way that works for you: A vision board can be a huge boost. It motivates me to visualize the person I’m helping to make it through the rough waters of entrepreneurship.

Whatever it takes for you, visualize that consistently. Writes Seth: “Persistent people are able to visualize the idea of light at the end of the tunnel when others can’t see it. At the same time, the smartest people are realistic about not imagining light when there isn’t any.”

Aren’t clear on your long term goals? Get a coach to help you get a clear eye on your goals. Get aligned with those goals and get clear about your next steps. It’s really difficult to make a decision about quitting or starting anything when we’re surrounded only by today’s urgent needs with no life-line tossed into the future.

A good coach will help you identify that life-line, and help you create a plan to live it.

The Biggest “What-if” Question . . .

Shelley was a successful executive who started working with me when she was due to retire in two years. We had started her long planned-for business and website on the side. She was building her “tribe,” and looking forward to coaching others full-time on topics she was passionate about.

But then Shelley was offered an unexpected promotion at work, and her retirement was shoved well into the future.

The focus of our coaching suddenly changed dramatically.

“Should I accept this promotion?” She asked me. “It’s a lot more work, I won’t have time for my writing – or my coaching. I’ll be doing a lot more traveling.”

I pointed Shelley to her goals that we had mapped out when she started working with me and asked, “Which opportunity best helps fulfill the future you’ve laid out here?”

The answer seemed clear: Her job would be a few more years – or longer – in the “cul-de-sac,” a few more years running on the treadmill she admitted she despised, never having time to really focus on expanding her efforts in her own business.

Her website and future coaching clients awaited her. There was only one question left to ask, and Shelley asked it, timidly, “But Keith, what if my own business doesn’t work out?”

And I responded with the only answer there is: “What if staying right where you are doesn’t work out? I think it’s time to define what “working out” looks like to you.

None of us has a crystal ball. We are either working towards those things that will fulfill our values and our goals, or we’re not.

How to Quit Strategically

Only quit as a long-term strategy, not a short-term answer.

The intent behind quitting is to quit the tactics that aren’t working while staying the course on your long-term goals and vision. It’s about understanding the difference between strategic quitting and reactive or serial quitting.

Determine your quitting strategy in advance. When starting anything, determine the circumstances under which you’ll quit: No movement, no improvement in my skills, I get bored, whatever it is for you.

This way, you avoid the “emotional quit.”

Seth offers three great quitting questions in The Dip.

Seth’s Three Questions to Ask Before Quitting

1. Are you panicking?

I’ll freely admit that in my 30-plus years of entrepreneurship, the times I’ve most wanted to quit were those times I was most tired, frazzled, or emotionally spent.

And common sense tells us that’s the worst possible time time to make decisions. Wait until you’re on a more even keel, and thinking more rationally.

Now, when I got some rest, did I still want to quit? Many times, sure. But, I was able to weigh in with some evidence from the other side of the table.

2. Who are you trying to influence?

This can be critical to moving forward. Get clear on your target audience. Are you casting too wide a net? Are you trying to attract everyone? That’s next to impossible. Narrow your niche, especially at first. For whom are trying to become the best?

3. What measurable progress are you making?

You’re either falling behind, standing still, or moving forward. Yes, sometimes, you don’t move forward as quickly as you’d like. But are you seeing any results? Attracting any fans and readers? Getting any offers for guest posts? Selling any of your products?

Look for evidence that your ideas and strategy are “scalable.” If it’s getting attention and a small amount of traction with a small list and a part-time effort, what are the chances you’ll get more attention and more traction by growing your list and giving it a full-time effort?

We’ll close this discussion with one more quote from The Dip:

The point is that in a world of infinite choice, in a world where the best in the world is worth more every single day, the only chance you’ve got is to find a Dip and embrace it. Realize that it’s actually your best ally. The harder it is to get through, the better your chance of being the only one to get through it.

Over to you . . .

Have you spent any time in the Dip? What are your strategies for making it through, or for strategically quitting?

. . . And Why it Matters

I think the purpose of life is, above all, to matter; to count, to stand for something, to have made a difference that you lived at all. – Leo Rosten

Maybe you didn’t change the world, but you changed somebody’s world. - Brendon Burchard

What does it really mean to ‘make a difference?’

Do you “matter” if you’re invisible to others?  It’s kind of like that question, “if a tree falls in a forest and no one hears it does it make a sound?”

Can you ‘leave your mark’ in this life, can you be remarkable, if no one is remarking about you?

While it’s important to be remarkable in your own eyes, making a difference by definition means being seen as remarkable by others. And, in order to be remarked upon, you’ve got to get in front of people – you have to be visible.  In the past that may have literally meant a soapbox on the corner where one attempted to influence by hollering at whomever happened to walk past.

But, today, it’s about getting in front of the right people – your people.

This is the primary reason we are passionate about content marketing.

Using content marketing on the Internet, you can reach the right people – people who might find your particular voice and message remarkable. Content marketing allows you to build a tribe while simultaneously building a business.

A tribe is not just an “email list.” You’ve got to have an engaged, interactive list. If you have a list of readers who are active, then you have a perfect audience to test the “remark-ability” of your ideas and products.

How do we create remarkable things? Is it the luck of the draw, fate, or just connections that make some people or products remarkable? Let’s find out.

How to Discover Why You’re Here

We’re here to improve our own lives and the lives of those around us. We know when we’re doing work we feel matters, but how do we gauge if we’ve touched others and done something that matters in their lives?

We know because we get feedback. People remark about us, and about our work.

Being remarked-about is a way to know you are making a difference. So, how do we become remarkable?

A friend of mine wasn’t feeling very remarkable a while back.

She told us as much in one of the forums I hang out in.

Here’s what she wrote:

I go out and do something I think is amazing. Stuff that no one has done before. And often it seems like almost no one cares or thinks it’s remarkable. Or a very small group anyway. Then someone else goes out and does something similar a year later and makes ten million dollars.

Maybe I’m just not remarkable. If so, then what?

Can You Measure Remarkable?

Seth Godin apparently now officially owns the word “remarkable” after the success of his most popular book, The Purple Cow.

In an article for FastCompany magazine, Seth defines remarkable:

The world is full of boring stuff – brown cows – which is why so few people pay attention. Being remarkable is the art of building things worth noticing right into your product or service.

A Purple Cow would really stand out. The essence of the Purple Cow – the reason it would shine among a crowd of perfectly competent, even undeniably excellent cows – is that it would be remarkable. Something remarkable is worth talking about, worth paying attention to. Boring stuff quickly becomes invisible.

A lot of people misunderstand Seth. To them, it sounded like he was suggesting you had to do something outrageous – get “talked about” – in order to sell stuff.

And Seth has something to say about that, too:

Being noticed is not the same as being remarkable. Running down the street naked will get you noticed, but it won’t accomplish much. It’s easy to pull off a stunt, but not useful.

To me, remarkability requires two things: First, you bring a level of engagement to your work (or your “art” as Seth calls it) – create something good; and second, you have a willingness to let an audience tell you what they find valuable about it.

Or, to say it simply, being remarkable is not just about being purple. It is about being good and being purple.  You can be as good as everyone else, but it’s the purple that makes you remarkable.

My friend who wasn’t feeling remarkable creates work that’s both good and remarkable.

The challenge was, her work just wasn’t yet remarked-about.

What if You’re Just Not That Remarkable?

It can be difficult to know what is remarkable about yourself or your own work.

That’s because few of us can create in a vacuum. We need others to see and respond to our work.

Some people just don’t have the ability to see how others perceive their work, so they use the only visible measure there is: “will they pay me?”

Is being paid for your work a reliable sign of remark-ability?

Being remarkable is often different than being paid; I think we’ve all seen examples of remarkable artists the critics may love, but who labor on in poverty.

If we’re going to use the measure of “remarkable equals paid,” then let’s cut to the heart of it: There’s a big difference between being remarkable and remarked-about.  And then, there’s a big difference between being remarked-about, and being paid for it.

The Ladder of Remarkability

If you want to eventually be paid millions of dollars for your work, you’ve got to climb the ladder.

Rung 1: Create something good: from the seed of a great idea in a blog post to an innovative, relevant product.

Rung 2: Paint it purple. It is not enough to just be good.  What will you do that will cause your tribe to see you and take notice?

Rung 3: Put it in front of an audience – preferably your own active audience.  Don’t be a tree in an empty forest. Get some feedback. Listen and watch for responses. Is your idea or product remarked-about? Does anybody want to “tweet” it on Twitter, or “like it” on Facebook?” Do people comment in your blog comment section? If not, maybe it is not “purple” enough.

Remarkability is not instant – it often comes only after responding to what your audience tells you about your product. Once you find the right message – the message your tribe will pick up as a mantra, then you can start planning for remarkable paydays.

One of last year’s best marketing books was The Micro-Script Rules. Bill Schley’s subtitle for that book really says it all: “It’s not what people hear, it’s what they repeat….”

In other words, it’s not what people see on your site, and it’s not what they hear you say: it’s what’s remark-able.

So, if someone else is pulling in $10 million with something very similar to what you’ve been laboring on in obscurity over, what’s the difference between you and them? Are they personally more remarkable? Probably not. But their messaging clearly is.

Those with remarkable products either have the ability to put themselves in the customer’s shoes – their mindset and/or worldview – and become remarked-about, or they hired someone who did it for them. This is why the world pays designers and copywriters.

If anyone can put the finishing touches on our chat about remark-ability, it’s Mr. Godin. We’ll close with a relevant blog post of his from a few years ago:

If the marketplace isn’t talking about you, there’s a reason.

If people aren’t discussing your products, your services, your cause, your movement or your career, there’s a reason.

The reason is that you’re boring. (I guess that’s what boring means, right?) And you’re probably boring on purpose. You have boring pricing because that’s safer. You have a boring location because to do otherwise would be nuts. You have boring products because that’s what the market wants. That boring staff? They’re perfectly well qualified. . .

You don’t get unboring for free. Remarkable costs time and money and effort, but most of all, remarkable costs a willingness to be wrong.

Remarkable is a choice.

Remarkable Summary . . .

1. Find what matters and is remarkable to you, and get perspective about that.

2. Create something good. You have to have value first.

3. Get in front of the right people – your people – and listen to them.

4. Infuse it with some purple. Which shade of purple?  Well, you’ll have to work that out.

Over to you: What’s your next step to remark-ability? Or am I full of hot air? Let us know in the comments!

If you have an apple and I have an apple and we exchange apples then you and I will still each have one apple. But if you have an idea and I have an idea and we exchange these ideas, then each of us will have two ideas. — George Bernard Shaw

Consider the story of Samantha, famous author.

Her first book sold millions of copies.

And the fact that it was published at all was a complete accident.

At first, Samantha never actually set out to write a book. She had the seed of an idea – a really wonderful idea – and she shared it in a magazine article. Newspapers picked up that article across the country, and then around the world. Soon, her ideas had taken on a life of their own.  Radio and TV shows called. And then a publisher suggested she develop the idea into a book.

The rest is history.

Years later, Samantha and her publisher sought to repeat the success of her first book.

They asked: “So Sam, do you have any more great ideas?”

Turns out she did. She sequestered herself in her office and hammered away at the keyboard for weeks on end.

The book was brilliant, she assured all around her. But because the ideas were so cutting edge, no one else would be allowed to see the book. Samantha was afraid someone would steal her ideas.

So in secret she worked, and when she finally handed the completed manuscript to the publisher, they rushed to publish it.

The book bombed. Few could understand it.

Her ideas were obscure and unconnected. In short, the book was a convoluted mess.

What had gone wrong?

Isolated Ideas, Interactive Ideas

I was listening to publishing maven Janet Goldberg talk about authors. She noted that she could always tell those writers who’ve attempted to write a book in isolation. Their writing becomes stilted, their ideas brittle.

Her solution: involve other people in the writing process.

But, how? And with whom? After all, the life of a content creator can become pretty isolated. Many of us have a patient spouse who serves as editor and cheerleader. Beyond that, who wants to bother their friends every time they write another post? And what if your friends aren’t very good at offering constructive criticism?

Make New Friends: Interactively

As content creators, we put stuff in front of our audience, and they get to respond.

And that’s the beauty of being a content creator online: The interaction.

Some of my best ideas – if not all — were made better by putting them out there and listening to what my readers had to say about them. I’ve written on blogs where I’ve been lambasted, ripped to shreds or created all sorts of controversy.  And in every case, those conversations made me a better writer, a better thinker – and gave me better ideas.

Tod Baker is an international advocate for learning with technology.

In a 2009 post entitled Hyperlinked Writing is the Most Powerful Writing, he wrote:

A hyperlinked writer connects with readers who care. Ideas bring them together, not spaces. This authentic audience influences writers because it can interact with them by commenting, like in blogs, and contributing, like they do in wikis. This helps writers to think deeper, write clearer, and refine ideas. In short, hyperlinked writing is the most powerful because it creates a community of learners. Notebooks struggle to connect people.

Bloggers aren’t Teachers

I heard somebody say, “Bloggers aren’t teachers.” And I agree.

We’re really more explorers and leaders – and sometimes, our ideas can instruct or inspire.

This distinction can actually be quite liberating. Think about it: A teacher has an obligation to be accurate and correct every time.

Do you feel the pressure to be “right” or absolutely correct every time you write? Can you allow yourself to simply throw a new idea out there, and see what happens?

Do you hold some things back because they need to be as perfect as possible before letting them out? Release something now!

You don’t have to be right. You just have to write.

Sometimes, the feedback from a complete stranger can be the exact input you need to take that idea to the next level.

If you create content, do you invite interaction on your site? Do you create pathways to make it easy for people to find you?

If not, open up the comments. Get active on social media. Start the conversation. Interact with your readers.

Want more great ideas? Share one idea right now.

Do You Have The “Online Business Success Gene?”

Have you ever compared yourself to others succeeding online and thought to yourself, “if I only had their stamina / wit / confidence / [insert your favorite here], maybe I’d be able to succeed, too?”

Some people seem to be naturals: for them success appears effortless, even predestined. It’s as if they’re born with something extra. They don’t seem to procrastinate, or feel socially awkward, or ever doubt themselves.

It can make one wonder if success itself is based on genetic traits.

Like brown hair.

Or green eyes.

Or going into politics.

So, just for the fun of it, I took a look at people who seem to be naturally successful and came up with the “Business Success Types.”

See if you recognize any of these three “types.”

1. The Energizer Buddy

This magical person has two insanely wonderful things going for him or her: She seems to have boundless energy that never runs out, and just loves people. Others are naturally drawn to her magnetic tractor beam of energetic goodness.

She is everyone’s best friend, ever.

This Energizer Buddy has a mysterious internal energy source; arising at the crack of dawn energized by her to-do list and effortlessly leaping into the day – after of course energetically jogging two miles, energetically getting the kids off to school, and energetically handling several phone calls and emails.

What’s more, she achieves all of this before 8 a.m.; with eyes sparkling while looking fresh, tanned, rested, and naturally, eternally youthful.

Let’s see: I feel brain-dead until the first morning dose of caffeine begins seeping through the cracks of my frontal lobe.

It would appear that by these standards, in the Internet biz, I’m toast.

Maybe there’s hope with the next B.S. Type?

2. The Super Geek

Two words: Bill Gates.

Need I say more?

OK, maybe I do.

During the Internet’s first decade, it seemed that you had to be a geek to succeed online.

Case in point: Google geek-extraordinaire Perry Marshall. When I attended my first big, official Perry event it appeared that every person there was a master mathematician. Every one of them carried spreadsheets in their pocket, and lived and breathed Excel.

They were a foreign species. Math was my worst subject in high school. I loved English.

Nope. No hope for me here.

But, wait. There is one more Business Success Type.

3. The Shiny Happy Person (SHP)

The SHP enters a room and all eyes turn. It seems this Shiny Person travels with his or her own personal spotlight technician: an ethereal glow follows them like an expensive fragrance.

And success follows them as well. Everything they touch turns to their own special brand of burnished gold. Are they lucky? Blessed? Just always in the right place at the right time?

Or are they just mysteriously, magically magnetic?

With all that’s going for these Shiny Happy People, who could blame them for being so darned happy all the time?

They’re happy.

All their Shiny Happy friends are happy.

The SHP  only hangs around other happy people, and participates in activities that maintain – or exceed – their expected level of happiness.

So, for those keeping score: Maybe you’re occasionally grouchy. Check.

Perhaps you’re not always feeling so shiny. Double Check.

Okay, so maybe there are more than three types, but the real question is this: do these people have something that you or I don’t have?

And, if we don’t have what they have, are we doomed to fail?

Have the “rest of us” lost some kind of genetic lottery? Are we doomed to failure because we don’t have just the right combination of innate B.S. Traits?

In Your Natural Habitat

The best antidote to these thoughts is to hang out with other successful people.

It was when I began partnering with a string of highly successful Energizer Buddies that I was able to observe them, in their natural habitat, up close and personal-like.

It turns out that most of them were ordinary folk, just like me. In fact, a few of them had turned to entrepreneurship because of the very issue of energy: they were burned out and exhausted by the corporate rat race, and just needed a nap.

Just try getting an afternoon nap at your typical corporate office.

Some were not naturally highly energetic at all!  But, they were successful because entrepreneurship gave them the freedom to customize their work to fit their natural traits – not because they already had some perfect set of success traits to begin with.

In fact, I discovered that many of these Shiny, Geeky, or Energetic people appeared this way to others because they had created a lifestyle and schedule for themselves that allowed them to do whatever they needed to be more successful – even taking an afternoon nap (gasp!).

So, there isn’t one success type.

As fun as this was, I hope we’ve all figured that out.

1. You don’t have to be shiny.

The shiny people just stand out more because they are inclined to seek the spotlight more. For every shiny person in front of the camera, there are five more who prefer working at home, quietly typing away on their blog with their list of 10,000 happy readers, and making a very good living for their family, thank you very much.

2. There is no success gene.

Every time you catch yourself looking at someone who appears to have been “predestined” for success, take a look at someone who didn’t have any breaks. This became crystal clear for me while reading the outstanding book by the rapper 50 Cent and philosopher Robert Greene, The 50^th Law. Here’s a kid who grew up in the projects, surrounded by abject poverty and crime. Yet, he made it and has developed a philosophy about the whole experience of creating success from seemingly nothing.

3. There are, however, success habits and a success mindset.

I have a friend from high school who still swears – some thirty years later – that our hometown’s wealthy family proved the “success gene” hypothesis.

After all, Shiny, Happy grandfather had passed along the skills, networks of contacts, and resources to his Shiny Successful son, who then passed it all on to his Shiny, Happy Successful sons and daughters.

Having spent many summers with this family, let me reveal what this family’s success legacy was: Habits – and not natural habits, at that – but learned habits.

4. It’s OK to compare, just compare strategically.

In a recent post, psychologist Peter Shallard recommends that rather than pretending we don’t compare ourselves to others, instead focus on comparing ourselves to better quality role models.

Writes Dr. Shallard:

You’re making social comparisons whether you like it or not. It’s happening dozens of times a day. It’s time to start making these comparisons work for you. The point of this post is simply to ask: Who are you making comparisons with? Who could you be using as a more empowering yard stick for your success?

Over to You . . .

Let’s bust some more “success type” mythology! What success “types” have you observed out “in the wild?

Do you think that there are any qualities that a person must be born with in order to succeed?

Please share your thoughts in the comments below.

[This is an excerpt from my guest post today on Matt About Business. Read full article here. ]

When I was a salaried W2 employee, it always bothered me that the more time I put into the job, the less I got paid. No matter how many hours I worked, I didn’t make more money. So, if I was making $35/hr when I worked 40/hours a week, then I was only making $28/hr when I worked 50/hours per week. Instead of making more money, I was paying my boss to work overtime!

But, after I became a business owner working solo, I realized that losing money when I work was not so easy to see. I found myself working harder, and working longer hours, but not getting better results and still not making more money….

…until I took back control of my work, time, and money. With one simple tool I cut my typical work day from 9 hrs to 7.5 hrs and still got everything done.

It made such an impact I decided to write a post, How to Cut Hours off Your Work Day, And Get More Done, which appears today on a great blog called, Matt About Business. On Matt about Business, you will find clear, practical advice about how you can use tools and technology to achieve greater business success, without having to be a ‘techie’ person.

In the post, I reveal how using this one tool for just a few minutes per day helped me:

• Make more money without spending more time
• Recapture lost or wasted time
• Make better decisions about the time I spent on email
• Stop procrastinating ‘difficult’ tasks and start feeling great as I saw how quickly I was actually able to complete them
• Redirect more of my time to higher priority tasks that got bigger, better results

What do you do to make sure your time is well spent and your hours are actually profitable? Go read the guest post and use the comments field to add your own tool recommendations or even request help finding the right technology to solve your biggest business challenges, save you time, or help you make more money.

I usually ignore subject lines that try to pull me in with the shocking, and now cliched headline, “Your Favorite Online Tool is Dead!”

In the case of the demise of the traditional office job, however, there just might be something to back up such a sensational claim.

And, honestly, would we really be sad to see the time clock croak? Who doesn’t wish it were not so hard to fit their personal stuff in around their work schedule?  Wouldn’t it be great if you could customize your work schedule to fit your life? What would you do if you had to work 40 hours a week, but not necessarily in the office, and not necessarily from 9 to 5?

Well, according to a report recently released by an international group of think tanks involving CEOs, senior HR professionals and workplace decision makers, 4 out of 5 employees will be working “flexibly” within the next five years.

This is quite a claim, considering that from 1997 to 2009 the percentage of ‘flexible workers’ has been stuck right around 25%.

Flexible work includes both flexible time and flexible location. But, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics 2009 American Time Use Survey, only about 24 percent of employed persons did some or all of their work at home in 2009.

So, why after 12+ years of no change, do these experts now predict that the the number of people with flexible work schedules will suddenly triple in just the next five years?”

Attracting Talent (Generation Wireless?)

The consensus among these thought leaders is that the upcoming generation of talent expects work to be flexible. Maybe we should call generation Y,  generation Y-erless. Wireless internet has given them remote access to their school work, information, and each other, from just about anywhere. So, why go to an office to do what you can do on your laptop or smart phone?

“Companies will rise and fall on based their ability to attract and retain the best talent. Combined with that is the increase in Generation Y workers entering the workforce who expect a flexible working life as standard. Organizations failing to adapt will lose out in the battle for the best people.” Kevin Eyres, Managing Director EMEA of LinkedIn

Competitive Advantage

According to the report “not a single participant felt that his or her company was ‘there yet’ when it came to taking full advantage of flexible work.  And in the increasingly competitive global business economy, you can trust that every advantage will be explored. One participant revealed that through ‘right sizing’ her business in 2009 she saved $1.5m in payroll without cutting any jobs.

But the most interesting aspect of these findings to me is not ‘when’ or ‘where’ the work is done, but flexibility in ‘how’ the work is done. The think tank also factored in the use of freelancers, and contract employees in reaching their conclusions.

Their predictions underscore not only a trend towards flexible time and place, but unprecedented flexibility in a person’s ability to work on their own. More than ever before, you can make a living doing what you love without full time W2 employment at all.

So, if you are in an office right now, take a look around. According to some very bright business minds, more than half of the people you see around you may be dawning slippers to work from home by 2016.

What about you? If you could be working on your own terms, working from home, doing what you love, what would you be doing in 2016?

Image Credit: Librarian Avenger www.flickr.com/photos/librarianavengers/

Masterminds, Forums, or Coaching – Which is Right for You?

Last night in one of our mastermind calls, the group recommended I get a dog.

I’m not sure what they were suggesting about my life, but I’m pretty sure our cats would disagree with this assessment (note hapless kitty in canine death grip, above). This illustrates the kind of helpful recommendations one can receive in a support group.

Plus, it gives me a great excuse to use a photo with both a puppy and kitty, which I hear are irresistible.

Which brings us to today’s question: Who’s on your support team?

A few weeks ago, we talked about the dream and business-killing threat of isolation for entrepreneurs, and suggested that a great solution could be participating in online discussion forums or mastermind groups.

Is a mastermind group the best option for you, or would an online forum best meet your needs?

Before you join a mastermind group or an online forum, here are a few things to consider.

Is an Online Forum Right For You?

Many membership sites include a discussion forum, and it’s often the most valuable part of the membership program – at least it has been for me.

The Upside

• In a good forum, you’ll meet other people with similar goals and projects, create joint ventures, and get both learning and business growth opportunities.
• Forums can be an inexpensive support option: they can run anywhere from $20 to $100 a month, depending on the other features included in the membership package.

The Downside

• Because forums are best suited to conversations, creating alliances, and asking for tactical advice, it’s not always easy to get reliable strategic advice.

In fact, if you plan on asking other forum participants for advice, know your strategic goals first.

Why?

Spot the difference between these two typical forum questions:

Typical Question #1: “I have a new product, and we want to do a video. What video presentation tools do you recommend?”

Typical Question #2: “Our membership site launched last week and we have zero new sign ups. Please take a look at the site and tell us why.”

The member asking the first question is asking for input on tools and tactics. A forum can be great for this kind of information: The type of video camera you use, for example, isn’t usually dependent on your personal business strategy.

The member asking the second question may not always get the best advice because not everyone is aware of the context or goals of his or her project.

“Here’s what worked for me,” isn’t always what will work for you.

What’s more, a lot of people are quite happy to toss out opinions with very little information to go on.

And for those members just starting out and trying to figure things out, this can be counter-productive.

Here’s What Joe Discovered

Joe belongs to a popular online membership discussion forum. He recently launched a new product, and it was going nowhere, so into the forum he went.

His question was simple: “My product isn’t working. What am I doing wrong?”

And for the next several days, he received an endless parade of very helpful people more than willing to tell him what he was “doing wrong.”

Some people thought his website was completely wrong.

Others thought the site was fine – it was in fact his sales page, which was completely wrong.

Still others disagreed, and told him his sales page was great – his pricing structure was to blame.

And on and on it went.

At the end of this exchange, do you think Joe was any less confused?

Was he closer to a solution to his problem?

Joe really began questioning the wisdom of asking such open-ended questions when Mark, a successful Internet Marketer in the group, chimed in that Joe was focusing on the completely wrong target market to begin with.

“That market will never buy what you’re selling, they don’t have any money,” said Mark, confidently.

Now Joe was really confused, and he pointed it out: “Hey Mark, just last month you told me this target market was perfect. What’s changed?”

If you’re new to online forums, here’s a tip that may be helpful: The best advice often comes from people willing to take the time to ask some questions, first. They’ll want to know a bit of context before dispensing advice.

Any advice unattached to your own overarching strategy can leave you in danger of taking dead-end paths.

So what’s a better option for you? If you’re in search of strategic advice, consider a mastermind group.

Is a Mastermind Group Right For You?

Most mastermind groups are formed by peers, and some are formed by a leader or expert that he or she moderates.

The self-formed groups can be cost-free, while the expert-led groups can range anywhere from hundreds to thousands of dollars, depending on the caliber and experience of the group leaders and other members of the group.

Regardless of which one you chose, a mastermind group is typically a more focused group of peers helping each other meet common goals.

They may meet in person, or over the phone – but the impact is the same: the group discusses options and holds each other accountable to goals.

The Upside

• Masterminds have more continuity, so group members can better understand your business context, and you have a better chance of getting solid strategic advice.
• More focused, typically more goal-oriented.
• Can usually be created at no cost to group members: This approach can work if the incentive of setting and meeting goals is enough to sustain consistent participation.

The Downside

• If you have people with not enough commonalities, it can diffuse the effectiveness of the group.
• The success of the mastermind depends a lot on the kind of people who are attracted to the group, and how committed they are.

If you want to form your own group (with people you met in that online forum, for example), here’s an article Jon wrote on four mastermind formats you could consider.

In fact, when looking to join a mastermind group, one of the best places to go is the forum. There you get to know people and find others with similar goals and join forces.

Know what kind of interaction would best meet your needs. Ask the group leader how their group works.

Six Things You’ll Want in a Mastermind Group

1. Focus

Is this a generalized group with a wide topic focus? Or is it hyper-focused on a narrow range of topics? Which type would work better for your project needs?

2. Relationship

You want to be talking to the same group of people over time; people who can get to know you and your business. When other group members are aware of your business process and progress over time, their responses can be more helpful.

3. Accountability

You want to have people who are committed to helping you succeed, not just asking and answering questions occasionally.

4. Perspective

You need to have input from people who will have some different ideas and are not just doing and selling exactly what you are.

5. Reciprocal

You need to be giving as well as you get. If you belong to a group where members share similar goals or objectives, then the give and take can become really valuable.

6. Consistency

The contact needs to be frequent and consistent enough that you get past the ‘anonymous’ stage and actually develop a relationship of some kind with others.

Is a Coach Your Best Option?

Finally, if you want personalized strategic advice, or want help clarifying your options, a personal business or life coach might be a great option for you.

The right coach can quickly help you focus on your unique business challenges and solutions.

How About You?

• What kinds of masterminds or forums have worked best for you?
• Which specific forums have you participated in, that you could recommend to others?
• What have you most enjoyed in your forum, mastermind, or coaching experiences?